You'll go blind doing that

So I'm sitting at the front of the room reading a book aloud to my class.  Kids are in a big clump on the floor, sitting or lying down in whatever position is most comfortable for them.  It's one of my favorite parts about being a teacher--everyone's quiet and calm, totally immersed in the story that I'm reading, really enjoying themselves.  I guess I didn't count on just how much enjoyment some of the kids might get out of it.  I'm in the middle of a page and I look up to see one little boy lying down with legs spread out and his teenie weenie sticking out of his sweatpants.  Oh lordy.  I mean, he's not waving it around or anything, but he's definitely enjoying himself, and it takes everything I have to just keep on reading like nothing is happening.  Because when it comes down to it, these kids are 5 years old.  They're...curious.  And they don't realize that it's not exactly a school-appropriate activity.  We had a kid last year who would spend all of rest time quietly humping whatever mat he was lying on that day.  It got to the point where I would do everything I could to avoid touching his hands, cause who knows where the hell they'd been.

Look, it could be worse.  ...Ok, well, I can't really think of anything else right now that's worse than a front-row seat to some kindergarten self-love action.  But hey, it comes with the territory, along with getting coughed on, getting sneezed on, mopping up accidents on the bathroom floor, helping a kid wipe his own butt, and cleaning up the mess that comes with a bloody nose.

I know I say this a lot, but seriously--I REALLY DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH.