are you there god? it's me, andrea...

Lately, I've been feeling full of teen angst. When I looked into the mirror today, a former version of myself--a pimply, chubby girl with glasses and brightly-colored braces--stared back at me. And with the adolescent exterior comes the self-conscious, awkward, sad inner feelings of a middle-school dork. Trust me when I say that middle school was not kind to me. I still carried a lot of my baby fat, and I had yet to discover the magic of contacts, so I was cursed with coke-bottle glasses. And because someone upstairs has a horribly mean sense of humor, I was forced to sport a painful set of braces for most of 7th and 8th grade. But hey, I could choose to color my smile highlighter yellow or Pepto Bismol pink! Lucky me! To top it all off, I had no idea how to deal with my hair. I am endowed with thick, curly hair. If styled correctly, it can result in beautiful ringlets that gently spill down my shoulders. I have never styled my hair correctly. Sure, over the years I have managed a sort of truce with my hair: I agree to use copious amounts of spray and moose and gel and cream, and my hair agrees to look a little less like I'm a character in "Where the Wild Things Are." Needless to say, this was not the case in middle school. I was hopeless to gain control of my unruly curls, and so I sported a frizzy mess every day.

Perhaps due to these many handicaps, I was painfully shy. I would slink down the hallways, trying to be invisible as I enviously stared through my magnifying glasses at the girls who had (at the ripe age of 13) already sprouted boobs. I would self-consciously cross my arms over my mosquito bites and fantasize that the next day I would wake up and suddenly need to trade my training bra in for something from Victoria's Secret. It never happened. And I would wishfully look at the fashionable and expensive clothes that the cool girls wore, while I trod along in my Sketchers shoes and hoped that no one noticed I bought my clothes from Hechts.

You know, I just remembered why I love the movie Sixteen Candles so much. I am Samantha Baker. Boob insecurities, cool-girl jealousy, and unruly hair included! Of course, my uncomfortable and awkward teen experience didn't end up with me sitting on a table kissing the ultimate cool boy while the candles on my birthday cake burn underneath us. Man, I wish my life was a John Hughes movie. Anyway, even though my middle school years (and to be honest, most of my high school years as well) didn't turn out happily ever after, I did finish 12th grade on a pretty high note. It had taken a long time, but I finally snagged my Jake. I started dating a guy from the cool group (a JOCK even!) in the second semester of my senior year. While everyone else had relegated me to a wall accessory, one boy decided to take notice. One day in US History class, I looked at him across the room and he smiled at me. And I got lost in that smile. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a beautiful mouth. (Oh my god, I think I might have an oral fixation....)

Just to let you know, I am still dating that same boy. We've been together for over 6 years. (And a big SCREW YOU to those who doubted we'd last more than 6 months.) About a year into dating, I asked him why he became interested in me, the quiet bookworm who never went to any of the high school parties, never put a toe out of line, never had an illicit swig of beer. Basically, why did he pick a freak like me? And do you know what he said? He and I had an 11th grade chemistry class together (a whole year before we started dating!!!) and he sat in the seat behind me every day. (I'm ashamed to admit that I don't even remember him being in that class.) He said that every day he would spend chemistry class looking at the back of my head, because he liked MY HAIR. The same frizzy mess that caused me so much angst in middle school turned out to be the catalyst to the greatest relationship of my life. How's that for a twist? So God, if you're out there, I guess I gotta say thanks. You didn't make it easy, but in the end, it all worked out for the best.