I'm just a little black rain cloud...

Ugh, today was not a fun day.  I think my self-diagnosis yesterday was wrong, cause it was sunny all day, and yet my desire to stay in bed all day did not go away.  It was like I had my own personal rain cloud drifting over my head, like in that movie The Truman Show when Jim Carrey tried to convince everyone that he could do something besides Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.  Oh my god, what if I'm on my own version of the Truman show?  Nah, if I was on The Andrea Show, things at work wouldn't be so fucked up, and my boyfriend wouldn't be halfway across the globe.  Unless....The Truman Show was pretty boring.  Maybe when the Hollywood bigwigs thought up The Andrea Show, they decided to go for more of a soap-opera feel.  But if that's the case, then why haven't I met my evil twin, or gone into a coma, only to wake up and have amnesia?

What was I talking about?  Oh, yeah, my shitty mood today.  A big reason for the high level of suckage today was that I had zero patience for dealing with the trials and tribulations of 6-year-olds.  I don't know, maybe it's been too long since I've actually been a 6 year old, but come on, it hasn't been that long.  I just don't remember caring about things like racing to get the the front of the line, or whether or not I got to play with the red car instead of the blue car, or who I got to sit next to at lunch.  I mean, seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  These are the important things in life?

Look, I was not without my neuroses.  I was insanely perfectionistic.  Everything I did had to be absolutely right, or I would collapse into a puddle of tears.  Here's what I'm talking about:

There I am, coloring a picture, and I have a world-class pout on my face, most likely due to my inability to produce something worthy of the Met.  I mean, look at that lower lip!  As my mom is fond of saying, "that lip is sticking so far out, you could sit on it."  What can I say?  What I lacked in artistic talent, I more than made up for with melodramatic kindergarten angst.



So while I feel for the kid in my class who doesn't want to sound out words because he knows he might misspell them and that would be the end of the world, I don't understand the kid who pushes and shoves and walks all over the other students so that he gets to be first in line.  Dude, what's the point?  You will get to our destination literally 3 seconds before the rest of the class.  What are you going to gain from that?

And of course, you know that 10 years down the line, that's going to be the guy who cuts you off on the highway.  Jackass.